Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thursday's Child Is Full of Face? Or Was That Grace?... Hmmm

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Dear Dr. W - Rocking & Rolling Concrete

Dear Doc,

What can be done to fix the concrete step from rocking as in a boat but they are on solid ground?


Dear Shirl,

This is simply a matter of getting your concrete legs. When you are in a boat you get used to the rocking, and they you are said to have sea legs. To get concrete lets, stick underwear over your head and a pencil up each nostril. Emitting a loud beep beep noise every few seconds something like a bus backing up helps.After several hours the rocking of the steps goes away. This is either from you not caring if they rock anymore, from your neighbours laughing hysterically watching you, ---- or the emergency squad from the Funnyfarm dropping by to give you a shot and pick you up. All are equally effective treatments.

Dr. W

Dear Dr. W -Doorposts walking into me

Dear dr. Wisenheimer,

All the time there are things like doorposts and tables in my way. Can you explain me how I can make them move 10cm so that I won't bump into them?


My Dear Rixta,

Close your eyes, twirl three times to the left, then twice to the right, take one step, back, fall to the ground, now using only your lips, move your body, 90 degrees. Stand up and walk forwards. You should now miss the door knob, or your lips will be stuck to the floor and being unable to move it won't matter.

Dr. W

Friday, August 04, 2006

Therapy Sessions Now Open !


Dr Wisenheimer is now available for online consultations - therapy sessions! Simply use the comment section below or email your questions or problems to Dr. W. and he will reply here in the blog.

These sessions are free of charge and you don't have to be a patient to get them...However he just might commit you to a bed here .... But don't worry! You'll be in good company with Goldilocks, Henrietta, Lucianna, Wragie, Sleeping Beauty and the Duck.

From the Office of Dr. Wolfgang Wisenheimer
Sunnydale Funnyfarm

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Lift Your Feet !

Today I want you to observe this swing with me. You see how Ms. Perdy goes up and down, up and down? This is the natural course of events with movement on a swing, unless you're hanging still.

Now who would get on a swing and want to hang still? Not swing an inch? I tell you some folks do! They are so afraid of being moved that they stubbornly cling to the space that they're in! They fear that someone might budge them an inch so they subbornly plant their little feet firmly into the ground, therefore they can't swing at all!

Some of these folks identify themselves as 'master of their own life', the sole one in control of it. They ascribe to others around them such terrific powers of control you'd think they see themselves as a Tiny Tim marinette and everyone else as powerful as King Kong who are pulling their strings. In actuality this person is most like Baby Hewey. He sits there in a stubborn ball, arms and legs crossed, jaw clenched tight, teeth set and typically with a bit protruding lower lip in a pout. You can't budge him. You can't approach him.

Look at the swing. See, when he lifts his legs she pushes him forward, then back he comes and she pushes him again. Soon he's flying in the air! The lesson of the swing is this: when you overcome your fear of being pushed and allow your playmate to nudge you, you just might find that instead of the being held back like you so fear they're actually helping you get what you want - you're flying!

But there's a trick to this. First YOU must move TOWARDS them. If you plant your feet or pull away you'll end up sitting there alone.

Warmth, empathy, truthfulness, love - an expressed desire for closeness - typically instills a confidence in relationship that brings out the best in a partner. Put those feet up!